The Knight
by Allicat9
Summary: Revan's story from the beginning. LSF. Reviews are always appreciated.
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE **

She remembers Deralia.

She remembers running through the tall brown grasses that sway in the evening breeze. She remembers how they are tall enough to cover her head, even when she stands on her toes. She remembers someone is chasing her, but she is not afraid. Even though she is not afraid she is pushing her body faster and faster and faster until she is flying across the ground, the grass whipping her face and the angry calls of whil- birds chorusing around her. She screams, a primal cry ripped from her chest, but it's not of fear, or terror, or pain, but rather pure and unadulterated joy.

Suddenly she is lifted off the ground, and she screams again, giggling uncontrollably as she is gathered up into the arms of the giant who has been chasing her all this time. He holds her close to him, trapping her in his great, hairy arms before tossing her in the air. She shrieks with laughter, and when the giant catches her in his arms, he is laughing to.

She imagines that he's all laughter and warmth and hugs as she stares into his big brown eyes that seem to shine with happiness. She nestles against his chest, her ear to his heart, still giggling and she squirms to get into a more comfortable position. His beard scratches against her cheek as he leans down to kiss her.

"Mo nion, mo leanbh." He whispers the words against her cheek. She stops squirming, mesmerized by the ancient tongue.

"Athair." She giggles again and reaches for his face.

"I love you, daddy."

He smiled down at her, reaching down to brush a few wayward curls out of her eyes;

"I love you too Nion. Always."

And then she wakes up.


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

**Reviews are appreciated!**

"Ger nish po tul org!"

"You'll take five and deal with it." Astoria threw her remaining credits at the vendor, frustration leaking through her "tough-spacer" veneer. All she wanted was some decent food for stars sake! Her transport had been delayed three hours and for the better part of that time she had been wandering around the dingy Ord Mantell Metropolitan spaceport searching in vain for a food vendor selling something vaguely Core-world esque.

Of course the only vendor selling anything remotely edible was also the most stubborn son of a hutt she had ever had the misfortune of meeting. The Gran vendor was fat, greasy and obviously blind in one eye. Worse, he had kept her standing there, haggling with him over a Blue Sun sandwich for the better part of twenty minutes. Sure she could have given up and stomached something off of one of the more 'exotic' food carts, (years on the Outer Rim had broadened her palate in very unique and most often unpleasant ways), but Astoria had reached her limit when it came to food she could not recognize (or food that she could recognize all too well). She was back in Republic space, and damn it, she was going to eat like she was back in Republic space.

Fortunately, it seemed that the merchant had reached his limit as well. Apparently credits' being thrown down in his line of vision was enough to override his initial compulsion to rob his customers' blind. Minutes later, Astoria, sandwich in hand, made her way over to her transport cue, feeling quite pleased with herself. She snagged an itinerary from a protocol droid and sat in one of the few unoccupied chairs in the waiting area.

The waiting area for the Endar Spireleft transport shuttle was near capacity, various beings shuffling around, sorting through luggage, talking and laughing with one another. The majority were military, Astoria noticed as she looked around the room. Most had the world weary look that she associated with seasoned veterans. Some had the fresh look of a new recruit. Still others seemed to be support staff, cooks, assistants, family members. Regardless of their function however, all of them were set and scheduled to travel with a handful of Jedi to the distant planet of Wayland in the Outer Rim, before making their way back Core-side.

Astoria was a unique hire. She was not a solider, nor was she a family member or support staff employee. She had been a member of a small group of explorers send to the Outer Rim planet of Wayland to access the damage done to the old Republic hospital there. Apparently the Jedi had a renewed interest in the place. Reviving the old wartime hospital would bring relief to the surrounding settlements and provide a safe jump spot for spacers between the mid rim and Taris. Astoria was an expert on the new hyperlanes around the planet and had been pulled off of the exploration task force when her team made to travel to Hoth.

Astoria smiled to herself as she opened the itinerary; she had sure dodged a blaster volley with that one. After the Wayland tour she would be back on Coruscant for a long awaited (and in her opinion-much deserved) leave. She sighed as she squirmed to get more comfortable in her seat. Yes-after this tour it was smooth sailing for Astoria Darkmoor.

Page Break

The _Endar Spire_ was the latest _Hammerhead _class cruiser to come out of the factories of Rendili Hyperworks. Its classic design and color scheme boldly heralded the legacy of the Galactic Republic while the interior was outfitted with all the latest technology. The bridge between the two was done with the elegant and simplistic touch that the engineers at Rendili were renowned for.

The _Spire_ and her sister ships, the _Acamar Bridge _and the _Orion Spear_ were all set to ship out from Ord Mantell's tired spaceport that afternoon. The _Acamar_ was headed to the ancient galaxy of Genus Vea in order to assist the planet Phaeton in its planet wide evacuation. The _Orion _was to be used as a transport ship, assisting the Republic Army by moving a large number of Republic troops from the training camps on Ord Mantell to Coruscant. With Darth Malak on the move, the capital could never be too protected.

Trask Ulgo snorted. As a seasoned veteran with the Republic's military, he had seen more action then most of his commanding officers. He had served the Republic at two of the bloodiest confrontations during the Madalorian War and fought beside some of the greatest military minds of the age. In his trained eyes the Republic seemed like a child, easily distracted by shiny new toys. The bureaucrats on Coruscant, many of whom had never seen a day of action in their entire life, put more emphasis on technology and weapons, then decent training and recruitment.

Trask knew Malak, he had fought beside him for nearly five years. The man was not intimidated by equipment or ships; he would not bat an eyelash at the Republic's new guns. No, Trask Ulgo was sure that the Darth would simply watch as his army blasted the fleet into oblivion.

"Ulgo, Trask-Ensign, Galactic Navy!" Trask made his way up to the boarding desk, rucksack in hand, holding out his id so the boarding droid could scan it more easily.

"Room 22A Ensign. You have first cycle. Report to the situation room 34BC3 for briefing at 1800. Thank you for your service." The droid warbled as it ushered Trask into the boarding bay.

Trask checked his watch and swore under his breath, at this rate, he would only have enough time to drop his bag off in his room before he had to be at the briefing. Letting out a few more curses that would make a Nar Shadda barkeep blush, Trask pushed his way through the gathered throng and mounted the boarding pad.

Page Break

Astoria typed pressed her thumb to the sensor that was mounted on the wall outside her assigned room. The crowds had been a nightmare to get through. The whole process had been very poorly managed she thought as the doors slid open, but what could you expect when it was being run by re purposed protocol droids?

The room inside was space but spacious with two cots jutting from the far wall about eight feet apart. The one on her left, closest to the door already had a bag on it, Astoria assumed who ever her roommate was had already came and went. There was a common spacer chest at the end of each bunk. She sighed and crossed the room kicked open the chest and dumped the contents of her bag into the open box. Slamming the lid she threw herself down on the bed and closed her eyes. It had been a long day and she was ninety percent sure that that Blue Sun sandwich had been made with jax meat instead of nerf. She wasn't on until second shift and she was bone tired; it was time for some shut eye.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Dantooine was a sacred place. The vast plains and quiet marshes reminded Anna of home. She knew that her home was supposed to be with the Jedi now, that she was to find contentment amongst the members of the order. They told her to let go of her feelings of loneliness. They wanted her to meditate her sadness away. A Jedi, after all, had no home but the Force. But even after three years with the Order, Anna could never feel comfortable in the great halls and urban splendor of the Temple of Coruscant.

But here, here in the open air she could be home again. If she closed her eyes and let the breeze flow through her hair, allowed the grass on her hill tops brush against her ankles _just so_, she could almost pretend she was on Deralia again.

She imagined how she would burst into the kitchen after playing by the river. Her mother would be there, bending over the fire. Enide would turn and smile at her daughter and reach out to Anna, lifting her from the floor. Then her brothers would come in, running, even though her mother had lectured them a hundred times over not to. Keressa might be chasing them because they had taken something of hers again. Maybe she would demand that Enide scold them. The baby might start to cry then, and mother would have to put her down. Anna wouldn't mind. She would just be happy to play by her mother's feet and listen to Enide's gentle voice singing her sister to sleep.

The wind changed and the dream faded into nothingness. Anna opened her eyes. She was not home. In all likelihood, she would not be home for many years, if ever. She struggled against the wave of sadness that washed over her at the thought, closing her eyes and trying to find her center in the Force. She was a Jedi now, and Jedi did not miss their families.

Her masters told her "if the Force is willing you will see you family again". Anna was not naïve, nor was she stupid. She knew the Masters did not think that she would be able to go back to her family. They did not want her to go back. They wanted her to become a Jedi Knight. To do that, they needed her to forget her family, to forget her life with them. Master Gabor and Master Murr had explained to her that being a Jedi meant that she would be able to help people and for that she needed all of her concentration.

"Personal attachments lead to fear of loss, Padawan Astor." Master Gabor had told her, his large hands covering her tiny shoulders, his thick Coruscanti accent making his words hard to understand, "And fear leads to anger, and anger-"

"I know, I know, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering." She hadn't meant to snap at him, but she had heard the saying too many times to count during her time in the Temple and for some reason, it made her angry. Her father had always told her that being afraid was as natural as breathing-that both were a part of being human. Fear was to be felt and conquered, and the Jedi wanted her to not feel it at all.

She had been scolded for her rudeness and for her emotional reaction, but she hadn't minded. Shortly after that incident she had been selected to complete her padawan selection and training on the distant world of Dantooine. Anna had the feeling that the selection had not been random. She suspected that her crèche masters had requested that she been sent to a center with more open space and fresh air, perhaps with the hope that she would flourish there.

Whatever their reasons, they had been right. Anna was much happier in the open air of Dantooine then she could have ever been on Coruscant. Here she could see the stars; here she could imagine going home.

"Padawan Astor? Padawan Astor!" Frieda Noris' panicked calls broke Anna's silent vigil on her hill top. With a start, she realized that the stars were already starting to show through the pale blue sky above her. She must have been gone longer then she thought.

She was about to call out a response when another padawan burst through the brush on her left, brandishing a training saber.

"Here Care Leader, I found her!" the female padawan called, smirking down at Anna, who still sat on the ground, knees drawn up to her chest.

"Thank the stars!" Care Leader Noris stumbled out of the brush behind the padawan seconds later, a small army of padawans in her wake, "Well done Padawan Yusanis."

"Thank you Care Leader." The girl smiled, tucking a loose strand of pale blonde hair behind her ear and sheathing her training blade before taking her place behind the Care Leader who was currently leaning against a boulder as she tried to catch her breath.

Though Anna did not recognize the girl who now stood primly behind the wheezing Care Leader, she did see some familiar faces in the small group of fellow padawans. Nathaniel Kavar, who she had known on Coruscant, was determinedly not meeting her gaze. Though they had been members of the same age mate clan at the Temple, ever since coming to Dantooine, Nathaniel had been distant, often times not even returning her greetings. Anna suspected that the other kids thought that she was strange and that they had told him not to associate with her anymore. Anna had never been one to care much what others thought of her, but she had liked Nathaniel very much and was sad to see him avoid her.

"Padawan Astor," Care Leader Noris had finally straightened up, tucking a loose brown curl back into the tight knot resting on the nape of her neck, "Would you care to explain exactly why you decided to come out here all on your own? Do you realize how dangerous this is? Kath Hounds would not hesitate to eat you alive if they came across you! Is this how a Jedi Knight would act?"

Anna had to squint to avoid rolling her eyes. Care Leaders. Kath Hounds did not frighten her. She had read enough about them to know that they were not predatory unless the harvest had been poor. Dantooine had not had a poor harvest in thirty moon cycles.

But Care Leader Noris did not know any of this and was currently displaying what Master Tzu might call "an unbecoming display of emotion". Anna felt a twinge of guilt; she must have really frightened the young knight with her actions.

"I apologize Care Giver." Anna said, interrupting Care Leader Noris mid-sentence.

"I-oh. Padawan Astor, um-" The young women flushed, seemingly just realizing that she had been in the middle of what amounted to little more than a fit in front of her young charges, "T-thank you Padawan Astor. I accept your apology."

"I am glad." Anna rose to her feet and gave the Care Leader a small bow, "Shouldn't we head back to the enclave now? It is getting dark."

"I-yes." Care Leader Noris flushed again, looking around the group, "Alright everyone, please follow Padawan Yusanis back to the enclave; thank you for your help."

Anna made to fall into line behind the group, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Padawan Astor," Anna looked up into Care Leader Noris' round, flushed face, "I am sorry, but I do have to report your behavior to the Masters. This is the third time that you have wandered off on your own this week. This behavior must not continue. Do you understand?"

Anna sighed, her mind immediately going to all of the unpleasant tasks the Masters would no doubt think up for her punishment, "Yes, Care Leader, I understand."

Page Break

"Uph!" Anna landed hard on her back, her head smacking against the cold stone of the dojo floor.

"Concentrate! Concentrate!" Master Hilmel's reedy voice carried over the din of the other duels. There were probably over fifty pairings in the ring but Anna knew that his criticism was meant for her ears.

Instead of taking her partner's outreached hand; Anna rolled to the side and neatly jumped to her feet, adding a double kick flip as she did so. She may be poor at meditation, but saber play was the one area where Anna outstripped her peers far and away.

"Are you alright? You hit your head pretty hard." Her partner, a skinny twi'lek boy whose lekku twitched almost constantly, regarded her nervously. How his sloppy Form I hacks had caught her off balance she had no idea.

"I'm fine." Anna flushed. Mentally kicking herself for allowing him to even land a hit, she turned away and resumed Form II ready stance.

The next twenty minutes were a punishing lesson in defeat for her poor twi'lek peer. By the end of the session the boy was all but limping out of the ring. Smiling to herself, Anna brushed a few curls off of her sweaty face.

"That was quite a session Padawan Astor."

"Master Hilmel!" Anna whirled around to face the elderly Sluissi sword master.

"You seemed quite engrossed in your duel. I haven't seen Makashi used in the padawan dojo in many years." The Sluissi's face was passive, and Anna couldn't tell whether the Jedi Master was praising her or criticizing her. "I hadn't realized that you were a practitioner of Form II. Where did you learn it?"

"I-I read about it. In the archives."

"Yes, yes," Master Hilmel brushed her halfhearted explanation aside, "But who taught you? There are no Makashi students amongst the masters besides myself, as far as I know."

"There aren't." Anna looked down at her feet. The patterns in the floor tiles were suddenly very interesting, "I've been teaching myself. Here. At night."

The Jedi Master before her stiffened, and Anna cursed silently. Practicing an extremely intricate lightsaber form alone without Master supervision past curt view? She was dead. Worse than dead. She would be kicked out of the Order for sure!

Anna braced herself, preparing for the (admittedly well deserved) dressing down she was no doubt about to receive from the ancient sword master. But none came. Surprised, Anna looked up. Master Hilmel's expression had not changed, his face was still as passive as ever, but she didn't think he was about to chew her out either.

"Your form needs work. You leave your left side open, vulnerable to attack. It's a beginner's mistake and it's deadly in a real battle situation."

Anna furrowed her brow, gaping up at the master in confusion. Why wasn't he reporting her to the Council?

"Oh I am." Master Hilmel said, obviously picking up on her train of thought through the Force, "and I will also inform them that you are going to begin your training in Form II, separately from the others. You have the potential to be adequate and Makashi is a dying art form, it would be a pity to waste your abilities."

"Thank you Master Hilmel." Anna dipped her head in the customary bow.

"Do not thank me yet. Goodnight Padawan Astor."

"Goodnight Master Hilmel."

Anna watched the Master disappear though the double doors at the end of the dojo before pelting off in the direction of the padawan dorms. Most everyone would be at dinner and no one would be able to chide her on her elation. She bounded through the doorway of the communal bedding area and threw herself onto her floor matt, giggling. A Master wanted to give her private lessons! Not even that horrid Padawan Yusanis could claim that honor.

Still laughing quietly to herself, Anna reached out with the Force and switched the light off in the room.

"Happy birthday to me." She whispered before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Page Break

_ She knows she is dreaming. _

_ She knows this because the dream is always the same._

_ She stands in the middle of a room she sometimes thinks she remembers. Everything about the room is familiar, but she can't quite recall where she has seen it before. She can make out the outlines of furniture, some colors, but everything seems blurry, a bit out of focus, as though she were viewing the scene from a very great distance away. _

_ She can feel that she is not alone. A warm hand slips into hers. She smiles. She doesn't know why, but the person at the other end of the hand makes her happy. She turns to look at them, to pull them closer, but as she does, the light in the room suddenly goes out. _

_ And then they fall. _

Astoria woke up crying.

"Sith spit." She swore as she swung her legs over the side of her bunk, rubbing her eyes furiously. She thought she had gotten rid of the dreams back on Ossus, but apparently they were to plague her till the end of her days. Was it too much to ask for one night of decent shut eye?

Glancing at the clock she noted that she still had three hours until her shift began. Rolling her eyes and letting out a long suffering sigh, she made her way over to the panel control wall and paged a currier droid.

"Good Morning Ma'am. My name is CR4. It is now 0331 Galactic Standard time. How may I assist you?"

"Can I get some caffe please?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. But Galactic Navel protocols are such that caffe will not be available until 0600 this morning. May I assist you with anything else?"

"No." She snapped, turning off the speaker with a bit more force than called for.

_Perfect._ Three hours and she had absolutely nothing to do but sit and brood.

"Happy kiffing birthday to me."


End file.
